First Round Friday
by Gregory Goetz

‘Tis the season.
‘Tis the season where silk-wrapped presents come in the form of swished 3-pointers; where lumps of coal are missed free throws and technical fouls; where upsets make for surprising and plentiful stocking stuffers; where Santa’s rosy “Ho Ho Ho” is surrogated by jolly old Dick Vitale’s horsy “It’s awesome baby!!!” That’s right -- ‘tis March Madness basketball season.

Every year around late March, America is infected with a contagious fever that is the culmination of a lengthy NCAA basketball season. Selection Sunday -- the Holy Day of Destination on the basketball liturgical calendar -- is the day where every deserving school is rewarded entry into the tournament and sent to its respective first-round locations, while those overlooked head home in hopes for a better tomorrow (and probably some coaching staff firings). Regardless, every admitted team’s 30 plus games it played during the season become insignificant history, as with the postseason comes a completely new season with even more electricity than the beginning of the regular one.

Having grown up in Kentucky, the Friday featuring all-day first-round games (‘First Round Friday’-- March 21st this year) is as good as an unofficial secular holiday -- and if generalizing, stereotyping and naiveté have taught me anything, I’ll declare it so for all SEC cities. Although the traditions related to this now official Southeastern celebration don’t involve trick-or-treating or trudging over the river and through the woods to grandmother’s house (though this is not out of the question—First Round Friday is a very liberal and accepting holiday), here are some suggested ways to ring in the postseason right.

Other than perhaps spending the money and making the trip to Raleigh (the nearest location for some first-round action), these are some of the most logistically logical and affordable alternatives:

1. Find your favorite sports bar and inhabit it for the day. Going with a group of friends and just hanging out, swapping stories and watching all the tournament coverage is a fine way to spend any Friday, let alone this one. This also has the habit of developing quickly into a yearly tradition.
2. Host a party or get together in your dorm, apartment or house. The theme is already given to you; you don’t even have to put out snacks if you don’t want to. As long as a television is tuned in to CBS or ESPN, your place is an official First Round Friday celebration site.
3. If you have work, see if you can’t convince your boss to turn on at least one TV that can be viewed periodically throughout the day. If he or she says no, you have my permission to personally call him/her a Heartless Hoop Hating Grinch.
4. If all else fails, carry around a radio or even a portable TV. You may even make new friends walking across campus who want to know the scores. Holidays are about spreading joy to others anyway, right?
5. Not planning to watch any of the games? No bother -- Scrooges who shun the fun are the crafty reverse-psychological advertisements every holiday needs. Why not make some money off First Round Friday though? Start up a pot where everybody pays x amount of dollars to pick a random tournament team out of a hat, then allot the agreed-upon payouts after March Madness is over. This can be done with a class, fraternity or sorority, co-workers or 63 of your carefully picked friends.
6. Go crazy. Go to Vegas. Try not to elope.

The important dates and locations for the NCAA tournament in 2008 are as 
follows:

March 27 -30 -- Regional Finals in Phoenix, Ariz., Charlotte, N.C., Detroit, Mich., and Houston, Texas.

April 5 -- Final Four in San Antonio, Texas.

April 7 -- NCAA Championship in San Antonio, Texas.